Last week I participated in a three-day weekend conference on psychological health and counselling as part of an ongoing series of church ministry training. I was the beneficiary of a paid subscription from friends at the church who thought that the programme could be beneficial.
What a weekend it was!
To begin, I am always enthused about requests for my input into mental/psychological health events whether as participant or contributor. To be under the tutelage of the experienced husband and wife team of Drs Michael and Mary Shapiro for me was a high honour.
Michael’s LinkedIn profile says he is a psychologist in private practice in Athens, Georgia, USA, “specialising in the diagnosis and treatment of childhood neurological and neurodevelopmental disorders such as attention deficit disorder, learning disabilities, autism, and closed-head trauma. He also conducts forensic assessments involving child custody, parental fitness, competence to stand trial, and other litigation issues.”
Mike and Mary both earned their PhD degrees in educational psychology from the University of Georgia in 1984 and have been child psychologists in private practice since 1988. Mike is foremost an elder in the Athens Church of Christ and an integral teacher at the Athens Institute of Ministry (AIM). The AIM website says the Shapiros are both accomplished Bible teachers and are frequently asked to speak in churches worldwide.
The Shapiros lecture extensively on topics related to child psychology, parenting, marriage, adoption, and mental health issues in a Christian context. They have authored one of my essential books, Rejoice Always: A Manual for Christians Facing Emotional Challenges.
Last weekend, along with presenters/trainers gospel artiste Shane “Rizon” Gibson and attorney-at-law, J Tyrone Marcus, the Shapiros presented fundamental teaching on counselling Christians and non-believers living with mental illness. The series was hosted by the Port-of-Spain Church of Christ and was held at the Sir Frank Stockdale Building, The UWI campus.
There was so much to take in from the event, but, in keeping with the Lenten theme on improving mental health, I was really intrigued with the presentation on the value of forgiveness.
Mike emphasised throughout the sessions that the scriptures remain essential to Godly and successful living but focussed on a holistic approach to counselling, using the biopsychosocial health model coupled with spiritual intervention and Biblical obedience.
In delivering approaches to counselling and psychology, Gibson touched on the workings of underlying and unresolved issues and their impact on our lives. Mary iterated that the past defines us but noted that from a Biblical perspective, Christians are new creations and therefore can access the possibility of renewal and the renewing of the mind.
The Shapiros taught that forgiveness is essential to reconciliation but that the concept was often misunderstood.
While the unbeliever may use forgiveness to feel better, Mike said for Christians the concept is more than “a therapeutic hint”. He cited Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV) which says: “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” He also quoted Colossians 3:13 (NIV), which says: “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
Mary cited Dr Fred Luskin’s et al Stanford University Forgiveness Project, a ground-breaking approach which “offers insights into the healing powers and medical benefits of forgiveness.”
According to Luskin, “The practice of forgiveness has been shown to reduce anger, hurt, depression, and stress and leads to greater feelings of hope, peace, compassion, and self-confidence. Practicing forgiveness leads to healthy relationships as well as physical health. It also influences our attitude which opens the heart to kindness, beauty, and love.”
Mike and Mary both taught that forgiveness is principally for the benefit of the one extending the clemency. Some salient points from this teaching were as follows:
• Forgiveness is a free choice we make by acknowledging the problem and deciding not to hold the person’s wrong against them even while retaining the memory of the infraction.
• The benefits of forgiveness are fewer health problems, reduced stress and improved mental and physical well-being.
• There is no timetable for forgiveness.
• Forgiving 70 times seven (Matthew 18:22) is not a formula but a metaphor for the limitlessness of a forgiving attitude.
• While some incidents may require a one-time act of forgiveness, deeper violations may demand forgiving continuously.
• When dealing with the painful past, meditating on scriptures that make you feel safe is a good intervention.
• Give up the notion that life is fair and perfect; mourn the loss of the perfection you never had, and move on.
• Forgiveness does not mean you condone the actions or behaviour of the wrongdoer/doing.
• We do not necessarily reconcile the relationship when we forgive. Remedy may not be possible if the person has died, for example; and, as well,
• Forgiveness does not necessarily mean the relationship is restored to what it was before.
Caroline C Ravello is a strategic communications and media practitioner with over 30 years of proficiency. She holds an MA in Mass Communications and is a candidate for the MSc in Public Health (MPH) from The UWI. Write to: mindful.tt@gmail.com