His Cabinet appointment to the post of this country’s Minister of National Security in September 2013 was a victorious and proud moment. It was one Gary Griffith would have loved to share with his parents. However, all the former Defence Force captain had were memories and the pain of going on without them.
Both his parents, then in their 70s, were diagnosed with cancer in 2012. His mother had cervical cancer and his father had prostate cancer.
The news was already difficult to accept but, what made it more difficult for Griffith, was that for both his parents, their cancers were at an advanced stage. The doctors advised that he should prepare for the worst. It was so difficult for Griffith that he did not discuss the diagnoses with his parents.
“I could not talk about it with them. I just didn’t know how to approach it, as we refused to believe there was no hope of recovery,” he told the T&T Guardian.
In a bid to extend his parents’ lives, Griffith began what he called the long road of therapy. He accessed medical care at both public and private medical institutions.
Despite the notion that public services are not the best, the former National Security minister said his parents received optimal care at the National Radiotherapy Centre in St James.
“The care given to them at St James was exemplary. They operated with a level of professionalism and, many times, staff went beyond the call of duty.”
But this care would end very soon for his mother. In early January 2013, within a matter of weeks of her diagnosis, she died. While still coming to terms with the loss of his mother, his father—who now lived with him and his family— died five months later.
It was a difficult period for Griffith and his family. Even though love and support came from family and friends, he admits that he is still grieving.
“I still have not fully processed the experience, even though years have since passed. Through it all, I had to set my own thoughts and feelings aside to ensure all energy was focused on them. It was a surreal experience. It still is.”
In an effort to cope, Griffith embraced his new ministerial appointment and buried himself in his work, just so he wouldn’t have any time to think much about his parents. Jokingly, he said, “I guess it worked out well for the country as crime went down that time.”
From the time of their diagnosis to the time of their death, Griffith said it took a toll.
He explained, “Caring for someone who is terminally ill is a very challenging activity especially if that person is a parent. The most difficult thing is seeing someone who is always in control, in a condition of being completely dependent upon you.
“It requires patience, focus, understanding and a measure of strength. You have to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for the outcome. It helps to have support during this time of care. Sometimes you have to be prepared to do everything, from bathe, dress, feed, provide medication, everything. It is a humbling experience.”
Asked if there was ever a secret fear about his own health, Griffith says absolutely not as he believes in prevention.
As a matter of fact, because he lost both parents he ensures various tests and annual check–ups are done and according to him, thankfully he is in perfect health.
In this month of October, known the world over as cancer awareness month, Griffith made a plea for people to take heed of the disease and be mindful it could happen to anyone when they least expect it, therefore always practise preventative measures.
Describing the disease as “hateful,” Griffith said, “It is very important to do your annual medical checks. It may not be the most comfortable experience, but it is a life-saving one, as the screening makes the difference of early detection, management and treatment. Make it a mission.”
Though Griffith misses his parents and wished his mother had lived long enough to spend more time with her grandchildren as this was one of her last wishes, he believes they both lived very full lives.
Of his father, he said, “My father I think was prepared. He lived; he saw his name live on. His grandson is Gary Griffith III.”